Breaking Free
by mikdiggy13
Summary: When Sarah is reassigned after Chuck fails spy school and is dismissed as an agent, the two take matters into their own hands. Season 3 AU.


"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." -- William Ernest Henley

"The course of true love never did run smooth." -- William Shakespeare

I've fallen in love  
I've fallen in love for the first time  
And this time I know it's for real . . .

. . . It's strange but it's true  
I can't get over the way you love me like you do  
But I have to be sure  
When I walk out that door  
Oh, how I want to be free

-- Queen, "I Want to Break Free"

~*~

Chuck walked distractedly through Dulles International Airport. There were so many things running through his mind, he didn't know which way was up. Should he be happy? Should he be disappointed? Should he be concerned? Honestly, he didn't know.

Just a week prior, things seemed to be going well. Hell, they seemed to be going pretty damn great. The woman of his dreams, the only woman in the world Chuck could honestly see himself having a future with had admitted to loving him. True, she'd done it in an instant message, but that didn't change the fact that it was the happiest day of his life.

He'd loved Sarah for so long. Almost since the day he laid eyes on her. And he'd always dreamed that she felt the same way, but there was always doubt about that. And then she'd erased that doubt by breaking through her own protective walls and admitting her feelings for him.

But since then, things had not been great. He hadn't spoken to Sarah since that night. He'd been kicked out of spy school, and fired as an agent -- or potential agent -- because he wouldn't follow through on his instruction in seduction school. Yet even as he remembered his fateful dismissal, he also thought about the discussion which had led to the outcome. The instant message that had changed his life, that had made everything he'd wanted all so real.

Sarah had told him she loved him, and then she had asked him not to kiss his partner. And even though he wasn't sure whether she'd been joking, even though he didn't know whether she'd really meant for him to follow those instructions, the fact remained that he couldn't do it. He couldn't kiss another woman. Not to pass a class. Not to become a spy. Not even to keep the Agency off his back. Not when it meant betraying Sarah. Because that's what he knew it would be; a betrayal of the woman who had stolen his heart.

The day he'd flunked, he hadn't admitted to the brass that he couldn't follow orders because of Sarah. But then, he hadn't really needed to. They already knew. When Beckman called him into her office, Chuck knew the meeting wouldn't go well. And he was right.

_"Mr. Bartowski," Beckman said, seeming to add extra emphasis to his title, and the lack of the word 'Agent'. "Have a seat."_

_Chuck did as he was instructed, as the General's words didn't allow for any discussion of the matter. "General --"_

_"I'll be doing the talking, Chuck." The bitterness in the small woman's words was palpable. "We need to talk about your failure."_

_"Oh, yeah, about that --"_

_"Once again, I will remind you that it is I who will be speaking to you, Mr. Bartowski. You will listen and will only speak when I ask you a direct question, understood?"_

_Chuck mumbled a "yes ma'am" in response._

_"Good. Now, it seems that your failure in training is a product of your unwillingness to complete a very basic infiltration course."_

_"General, about that --"_

_"I won't warn you again, Mr. Bartowski," Beckman barked, causing Chuck to shy away from her. "Now, I've gone over what may have caused your unacceptable behavior, and I've come to a very solid conclusion. It is my belief now that you, Mr. Bartowski, are too emotionally connected to the outside world, and more over, to one certain person in particular."_

_"General --"_

_"Keep your mouth shut, Mr. Bartowski!" Beckman boomed. Taking a cleansing breath, she continued. "Because of your inability to do what you're told, for whatever reason, I have no choice but to discontinue your training. You will be sent home, and you will await my decision on what we plan to do with you."_

_"Will my team --"_

_"Colonel Casey, and a group of agents will offer surveillance and security for you in the short term while I make my decision. And Chuck, I would just like to add that I am extremely disappointed in your failure, but I'm not surprised."_

_"General --"_

_"That will be all, Mr. Bartowski. Please leave the way you came in, and you will be escorted back to your quarters to pack. Your flight leaves tonight."_

_The General turned in her chair to face away from him, leaving Chuck nothing to do but exit the room. But just as he reached the threshold, just as he stepped into the vacant, shadowy hallway, he overheard something that caused his stomach to knot and the hairs on the back of his neck to prickle. Punching the Intercom button to her phone, General Beckman spoke quietly into the device, her words all too audible to Chuck's discerning ears. __"Have we had any leads as to the whereabouts of Agent Walker, Colonel?"_

Chuck's brow furrowed as he remembered whirling in consternation and surprise, only to watch helplessly as a beefy agent slammed the door shut in his face. And even though he'd pounded on the door, even though he'd screamed through the heavy wooden slab for an answer, it remained closed. An impediment in his path. An obstacle to the truth.

Sarah was gone. That was all Chuck knew, and no one would tell him what was going on. It was quite maddening. Was she hurt? Was she in danger? Did anyone give enough of a damn to find out? And most of all, when he got back to LA, would he ever see her again?

He almost considered trying again, he almost thought about phoning the CIA and demanding answers once more. But suddenly, he was pulled from his thoughts and almost from his feet as a hand wrapped around his neck and covered his mouth. His scream died in his throat as he was led to a nearby, secluded concourse by the stranger. Or, was it a stranger?

There was something about the hand over his mouth that he recognized. The skin felt familiar. It smelled familiar. It smelled like...

"Sarah?" Chuck asked, astonished as he wheeled around to look at his captor.

"Shh," Sarah replied, biting her lower lip as she scanned the concourse for potential interlopers. Her pulse racing erratically, her hand tingling from the momentary contact with Chuck's soft mouth, she attempted to force a smile onto her lips even as she forced the doubts from her mind. Even as she reminded herself that Chuck had no idea what was happening, that he had no way of knowing why she was here. That he probably didn't even know anything about the recent changes Team Bartowski had undergone.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him, the warmth radiating from his gaze causing her heart to skip a beat. "We have to run," she said, then thought better of it. She had learned long ago that Chuck needed to be gradually eased into things, that she couldn't deliver the ultimate blow until he fully understood. "I'm being reassigned, Chuck. I have orders to cease all contact with you, to completely disappear off your radar. To never talk to you again. We have to run." Keeping her hand firmly yet gently wrapped around his warm arm, she looked into his eyes and willed him to understand everything she was saying. Willed him to understand everything that had happened, everything that could still happen, everything that might occur.

Chuck swallowed nervously. His mind was reeling with all of this new information. Sarah was supposed to leave him? He already knew that was probably true intellectually, but to have her spell it out was like a punch to the gut. How did they think he'd operate without her? Did they even care? Did they even plan on his continued operation?

Still, there had to be another way, right? He couldn't let Sarah throw everything away for him again. Not after the last time. She'd already done it once, and it had worked out in the end. But there was almost no way it would work out again. The last time had been a fluke, a stroke of luck. But how much luck could they expect to get, especially based on their history?

"Sarah, we can't run. You have a job to do, a job you love. I can't make you give that up. Not for me," he said.

_A job she loved._ Again, the ramifications of this situation rushed back to her full force, the possibilities racing through her mind as she considered Chuck's words. The concept of running away, of leaving everything she had worked for almost knocked the breath from her lungs. But even more powerful than her apprehension, even more powerful than her fear was the overwhelming sense of emptiness she felt at the idea of losing Chuck. At the idea of leaving him, of moving so far away that she lost any hope of ever seeing him again. Because regardless of what happened next, regardless of where they finally found themselves, she knew that she couldn't leave him now.

Almost as if she was being controlled by a puppeteer, Sarah felt her head shaking from side to side, her lips curving into a tender, knowing smile. Her fingers traversing his arm to cup his clammy palm. "I loved my job, Chuck," she said quietly, fingering the smooth skin of his hand. "It was something that I was good at, something that I excelled in." Pausing, she inhaled deeply as her gaze intensified upon his own. What she planned to say next, what she planned to admit now was something she hadn't ever admitted before. At least not in person. At least not when the stakes were so high. But even so, she knew that she had to tell him the truth. She knew that she had to make him see: some things were more important than the job. Some things were worth throwing everything else away, simply because they were all that mattered.

So as she continued to gaze deeply into his eyes, as she continued to hold his hand gently in her own, she straightened her shoulders in resolve and prepared herself to plunge into the emotional abyss that had become her life. "I love you more, Chuck," she said, her voice cracking slightly. Clearing her throat, she continued. "What we have," she said, motioning between them with her free hand, "Is more real than anything I can ever remember having. And I'm not willing to give that up. Not for Beckman, not for the CIA, not even for everything I've worked for. This is more important than all of that."

Chuck smiled. How could he not? Sarah had finally said the words he'd so longed for her to say. She had confessed to being in love with him. She had confessed it in person. And while Chuck would freely admit that he couldn't always read her as well as he'd like, he knew she was telling him the truth. He knew that her words meant what she said.

"I love you, too," Chuck said, unable to contain himself anymore from admitting his feelings. He could see that his words brought her a brief moment of joy, and perhaps relief. "I love you so much," he added.

Sarah thrilled at his admission, a crooked grin spreading across her face as she held affectionately onto his hand. As she relished the feel of his touch, the sensation of his warm skin as it rubbed against her own. She had wanted this for so long; she had needed this so much. "I know," she said quietly, leaning forward to brush her lips quickly against his own.

Then Chuck's face darkened. What she was asking him to do could have so many consequences. They'd be on the run from the government, and as Sarah had told him their first night together, there was no way to get away from the CIA forever. But then, he wouldn't be doing it alone. Sarah would be with him, and together, they could do anything. God, this was such a big decision.

Curling his fingers around her hand, he looked into her azure eyes, which were full of emotion, and hope, and vulnerability. He squeezed her hand, and swallowed back the lump in his throat. "But Sarah, there has to be another way, right? We can make them understand. We just have to tell them. Tell them we're a package deal, right? They'll listen, won't they?"

Shaking her head once more, Sarah's grip tightened inadvertently around his hand. "It's not that simple, Chuck," she admitted, her features turning serious. "We can't just call the shots. You're still the Intersect. I'm still an Agent. And," she continued, sighing heavily as her brow creased, "Once it has hold, the government never lets go."

Licking her lips, she contemplated her next statement, considered her next words. She knew this was the only way. She knew they had to run if they wanted to have any chance of staying together. And even though she understood how difficult it would be to get away, she also knew that it would be impossible to live life without Chuck. To wake up every morning, knowing she wouldn't see his innocent smile. To live every day, knowing he was out there and she couldn't protect him. She couldn't keep him safe. She couldn't be a part of his life.

Swallowing softly, she took an instinctual step toward the computer nerd, her gaze firmly fixed upon his own. "This is the only way, Chuck," she said, her voice emerging soft yet strong. "This is the only way we can stay together. The only way I'll be able to keep you in my life." Even as she said it, even as the words sounded upon her ears, she knew how selfish they were. She knew how self-centered she was being. She was asking him to give up everything. His family. His friends. His chance at a normal life. His chance at happiness.

And suddenly, she realized that she couldn't just ask him to run. She couldn't just give him this choice without making sure that he understood everything that came along with it. "But it won't be easy," she said, her muscles clenching at the inevitable possibility that he could turn her down. That he could decide that he'd rather stay here without her, and that there was still every chance that she'd never see him again. Still, she continued undeterred. His happiness was too important; his future too valuable. "I don't know how long we'll have to run. I don't know if we'll ever be able to come back. You might never see your family again. Ellie, Awesome, Morgan. So I'll understand if you choose to stay here. I'll understand if you don't want to do this."

The moment she'd finished her diatribe, the second she'd laid it all out in front of him, she felt her world tilt, her breath hitch. Her heart stop. Everything she'd ever wanted, every dream she'd ever had was suddenly spread before her, ready to be taken by just one word from Chuck.

Not that Chuck had any intention of refusing her. The shock of what Sarah was proposing to him was finally starting to wear off. For whatever reason, he hadn't really grasped what she was saying until she laid it all out on the table for him. Not only would he be in danger because of government pursuit, but his life as he'd known it would essentially be ending.

But then, since he'd become the Intersect, his life had been threatened on multiple occasions. Not just by bad guys with guns, but by the very people he worked for. Being locked in an underground bunker had been a possibility for a long, long time. But then, there was always one person on his side. One person that was never ready to let his life end. Sarah.

Now, Sarah was asking him to voluntarily end his normality. She was asking him to abandon his loved ones. But even so, what she was offering didn't seem selfish to him. No, she was offering him an opportunity to continue to have her in his life, and honestly, he didn't think he could live life without her.

"Sarah," he said, gulping nervously, "I love my sister, and I love Devon, and I love Morgan. And I'll be sad if I never see them again." He paused, but seeing her discomfort, her pleading eyes, her uncertainty, he continued. "But as sad as that would make me, it doesn't touch how I would feel about losing you now. You -- you're a part of me now."

When Chuck finished, he looked down into her eyes, and he swore he could see through them, straight to her soul. He could see her worry, her regret, and he knew that he couldn't let her feel that. Not now. Not when they were just starting something that could be so amazing. So Chuck forced a smile, and pressed his lips tenderly against hers for just a moment. "So, how do we do this?" he asked as he pulled away.

Smiling softly, her lips still tingling from his kiss, her heart still racing from his touch, Sarah glanced up and down the concourse, her features tensing as she considered their options. "We get as far away from here as we can," she said slowly, swallowing gently as her plan began to form within her mind. "We go to a foreign locale, and we blend in as if we've lived there all our lives. And," she said, glancing back at Chuck as a serious, tender cast shaded her bright blue eyes, "We call no one. No one can know what we're doing, Chuck. No one can know where we've gone, or that we're not coming back. Not even Ellie."

Biting her lower lip, she rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. She still couldn't believe what she was suggesting; she still couldn't believe that Chuck had agreed to go along with the plan. She still couldn't believe how close they were to having a chance at a real life, a chance at a happy future. But along with that disbelief, along with that hope, was the continual urge to ensure that he understood exactly what he was getting himself into. To ensure that he knew exactly what would happen when they left this airport. "If you go with me," she said, stepping instinctively closer to the love of her life, "There will be no going back. This is it, Chuck. Are you ready to run?"

Was he ready to run? Was he ready to leave everything behind? Ellie was married to a great guy, an awesome guy even. Morgan was off in Hawaii pursuing his dream, with a girl that loved him. Wasn't it time for Chuck to have some happiness? Wasn't it time for some of _his_ dreams to come true?

"Sarah, I'm ready to do whatever I have to do, if it means I can keep you in my life. I love you, and I trust you. Let's do this," he finished, smiling at the thought of spending the rest of his life with the woman of his dreams.

A slow, genuine grin spread across Sarah's face, and she glanced down at their entwined hands before looking back up at Chuck. "Okay," she nodded, her eyes dancing with guarded delight. "Let's do this."

Pushing him against the wall, her arm grazed his side as she peered around the corner to check their surroundings. As far as she knew, no one had followed her. As far as she knew, they were at least one step ahead. She had disappeared a day before, giving a halfhearted excuse of needing some time away. And even though she knew she could have done better, even though she was certain the General had been suspicious, she had been too worried to manage much more. She had been too concerned that she might never see Chuck again, too apprehensive that he might leave her and refuse to run.

But now, with his hand intricately linked through her own and his cinnamon eyes fixated upon her flushed face, she knew that what they were doing was good. She knew that what they were doing felt right. A fact confirmed when she didn't find a tail, when she failed to spot any fellow agents. Sighing almost inaudibly with relief, she turned back to Chuck with quirked brow. "Ever been to Jakarta?" she asked, unable to suppress a smirk as she handed him a fake passport and a freshly printed plane ticket.


End file.
